Psychotherapy offers valuable insights into why many men unconsciously choose partners who resemble their mothers. This phenomenon has gained renewed attention following Brooklyn Beckham’s dramatic six-page Instagram post on January 24, 2026, where he publicly disowned his parents, David and Victoria Beckham. In the context of this family upheaval, psychotherapist Dr. Joy Conlon from Coyne Medical explained the psychological dynamics at play.
Dr. Conlon suggested that the conflict between Brooklyn’s wife, Nicola Peltz-Beckham, and his mother, Victoria Beckham, exemplifies a power struggle between two assertive women. She noted, “There becomes a loyalty conflict, where you have two confident women in an overt and covert power struggle.” This dynamic places men like Brooklyn in a challenging position as they seek to please both their mothers and their partners.
Brooklyn’s Instagram post unveiled a family narrative marked by dysfunction, where love appears conditional, often revolving around social media displays. In a bold move, he accused his mother of undermining his marriage to Nicola, suggesting deep-seated tensions within the Beckham family.
Despite their different backgrounds, observers have noted striking similarities between Nicola and Victoria. While Nicola grew up in wealth as the daughter of a billionaire, Victoria experienced a more modest upbringing before her rise to fame as a member of the Spice Girls. Both women are characterized by their ambition, image consciousness, and strong personalities, which can create friction in their relationships with Brooklyn.
Dr. Conlon explained that men raised by emotionally intense mothers often find familiarity in partners who evoke similar emotional tones. “A man raised by a mother with narcissistic or emotionally unstable traits learns very early that love is unpredictable and conditional,” she stated. This early conditioning can lead men to unconsciously choose partners who reflect that emotional climate.
The psychotherapist pointed out that Brooklyn likely witnessed similar tensions between his mother and grandmother, further reinforcing these relational patterns. Such dynamics can intensify when both women exhibit strong personalities or narcissistic traits, potentially leading to a competitive atmosphere for his affection.
While there is no evidence that either Victoria or Nicola has narcissistic tendencies, the ongoing rivalry for Brooklyn’s attention is apparent. For instance, Nicola’s choice to wear a vintage leather jacket once owned by Victoria in 2024 raised eyebrows and highlighted this competition for emotional dominance.
Dr. Conlon elaborated on how a man’s emotional hierarchy shifts upon marriage, stating, “When a man marries or commits deeply to a partner, the emotional hierarchy shifts. If his mother has narcissistic traits, this can feel like a profound threat to her positioning.” This shift can lead to further tension, as mothers may perceive their sons’ partners as competition.
The psychotherapist noted that many men grapple with similar patterns in their relationships. “I often see men in therapy who express confusion over why they repeatedly end up in the same type of relationship,” she said. These men may be drawn to different partners, yet the emotional experiences often mirror those from their childhood.
Dr. Conlon shared an example of a client who found himself trapped in a cycle of relationships that mirrored his upbringing. Despite the different backgrounds of his partners, the emotional patterns remained consistent, leading to anxiety and self-doubt. “When she was happy, the household felt warm and connected. When she was not, everyone felt it,” he recounted, emphasizing the emotional toll of such dynamics.
While these patterns can be difficult to break, Dr. Conlon believes change is possible with commitment and support. She encourages individuals to develop emotional literacy, establish healthy boundaries, and prioritize their needs. “This work is not easy, but it is entirely possible to curate a life and relationships that are chosen consciously rather than inherited unconsciously,” she stated.
In light of the ongoing Beckham family saga, Brooklyn’s statement reflects a broader struggle many men face in reconciling their relationships with their mothers and partners. As Dr. Conlon emphasized, the emotional frameworks established in childhood can significantly influence future romantic choices, often leading to complex dynamics that require careful navigation.
