Naomi Koji-Paton reflects on her unconventional upbringing aboard a boat, where she navigated between adventure and a longing for stability. Born in the 1970s, her parents purchased a 30-foot oceanic catamaran, seeking a life of freedom that came with its own set of challenges. They lacked sailing experience and primarily relied on curiosity to guide their travels, which included remarkable views of the Bay of Biscay and crossing the Atlantic.
Living on the boat, Koji-Paton often felt the weight of her nomadic lifestyle. “For the first 11 years of my life, we had no postcode, no front door, and no permanent education,” she explains. Schooling was sporadic, with her family moving frequently, often leaving her to adapt mid-term, without a uniform or friends. The experience led to feelings of isolation, as she struggled to fit in with classmates who had stable lives.
Lessons from the Sea
Despite the challenges, Koji-Paton gained valuable skills during her travels. She learned to sail, light fires, and navigate the complexities of life at sea long before she grasped academic subjects. “I learned resourcefulness, how to read wedged against a bulkhead so I did not roll with the waves,” she recounts, emphasizing the life lessons derived from her unique upbringing.
Yet, the adventurous lifestyle came at a cost. She often felt unmoored, craving the predictability of a traditional childhood with a stable home environment. Her longing for stability was highlighted by her desire for a bedroom and friends who remained constant. “What I wanted most was stability,” Koji-Paton shares.
Today, the trend of nomadic living has gained traction, with families documenting their travels on social media. While she admires their choices, Koji-Paton expresses concern for the emotional toll such lifestyles can exact on children. She acknowledges the allure of adventure but emphasizes that freedom can sometimes lead to disconnection.
Finding Balance in Parenting
As Koji-Paton transitioned into adulthood, she sought to create a different experience for her own children. Now a parent herself, she recognizes the importance of balancing adventure with stability. “Though I am not against adventure and have taken my children travelling, I have also given them stability and choice,” she explains.
Her children enjoy a home where friends can visit and where they have access to various activities, from sports to music. Koji-Paton encourages open communication, allowing her children to express their needs and feelings. “Children do need wonder, to see the world and to learn to handle its unpredictability,” she states. However, she believes they also require a foundation to return to—a home that celebrates their stories and provides a sense of belonging.
Reflecting on her past, Koji-Paton acknowledges the complexities of her feelings towards her parents. While she admires their adventurous spirit, she feels they provided her with the world, yet lacked the tools to navigate it effectively. This duality shapes her parenting approach, as she strives to offer her children both adventure and a sense of security.
Through her journey, Koji-Paton has come to appreciate the importance of grounding in a world filled with exploration. She shares her story not just as a memoir of her upbringing but as a reminder of the balance between adventure and stability that every child deserves.
